My plan for coming across my Muslim brothers or sisters in a conflict is that I would first ask them for what ever they need to get through their conflict easier. Then I would help them with that need in a caring way. I will also make dua for them so they can go through this test they have with ease. I will strive to reach my goal by first helping out my family, parents, friends, teachers, classmates, community people, neighbors then helping out strange Muslim people and other people that aren't Muslims, inshallah.
That is an excellent goal Heba that we should all strive to improve on.
It is extremely important that we talk to others in a friendly manner, not accusing them, for that would worsen their conflict and create a new one between me and them.
If my Muslim brothers and sisters were in a conflict I would first find out what that problem was. After I completely understand both side of the story I can help in a way which is right for that situation. In the end I will hopefully reach a solution for them.
I would do the the same thing as Safa but also ask them what they think is right deep down in their heart.
same i agree with you tahnia and safa you want to make your friends and feel better by solving the solution
Safa, I agree with you 100%. It's part of our bad habits to judge immediately. In one ayah it says we should investigate BOTH sides of the story like you have already mentioned. If we judge too quickly and pick a side, then you will break up their friendship, and your relationship with them.
My plan for coming across my Muslim brothers or sisters in a conflict is that I would first ask them for what ever they are fighting about so I may make a resnable assent on the situation and then make a explanation that would benefit both sides
My plan is to not interfere with others, be respectful to everyone, and make sure I don't bother anyone, because everyone can be annoyed at sometimes ;)
That can be an option Sami, but the ayah tells us to try to help others. This doesn't mean to but in when they are privately discussing something, but you should try to help when you can.
I agree with Sami and Adnan, we should be respectful, but if the problem escalates, we need to try to help. We shouldn't be nosy, but we should try to make peace. This is what Islam is about, peace.
This is a good idea sami but if it does concern you then you should try to do something about it. Even if it doesnt concern you, you should stlll try to do at least something about and not just watch.
i think sami came across a really good point which is that we should not annoy or harm our muslim or non brother. As the dadith of the week says we should not harm other. treat others the way you want to be treated
This is not a very good idea. I am not, I highlight NOT, trying to criticize you. Allah orders us in the Quran to "make peace between them"
Sorry, posted it three times. LOOK HERE MS. TASNIM! PLEASE DELETE TWO OF THEM. I AM WRITING IT ALL CAPS BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO NOTICE. PLEASE NOTICE!!!
The ayah of the week's main message was that as muslim brothers and sisters we get along. One way I want to help my fellow muslims in conflict is to listen to the issue on a all sides and say my personal UN-BIAS opinion. Also tell them ways to make it better, NOT make it worse by beginning to slander and make it worse.
i completely agree with you sara, you have to listen to both sides of the story, AND have a neutral perspective on the conflict. if you start taking sides, it can lead to backbiting or slandering of the other side.
What I would do to settle the dispute is to find out the full story first from bother sides. I also have to approach it without being on either side. When I find out the story from both sides, I have to remember that each person will make the other look like the oppressor and themselves the victim. There is always two people who start an argument with each other, so no one person "started it". I can try to get them to agree and stop pointing fingers at each. As a last resort, I can lie. In Islam, you are allowed to lie if it will get two people back to being friends. I'll also not try to get others involved if they ask because that would be backbiting. And if my friends find out that I was backbiting about them, they won't want my help and guidance. Then ALL of us will be arguing with each other and that won't help us at all.
Yes, we should always have the intention of getting them back together. NOT making it worse.
And plus, if you start "getting them back" yes, you make it worse when you were initially trying to make the situation better. So basically your good deed can turn into something bad like slandering, backbiting etc.
What I would do to stop a fight between my Muslim Brothers
is that I would try to come in between the people who are fighting and I would try to calm them down. Before I knew that we shouldn't be sightseers to a fight and we should help stop it, I always just stood there and watched the people fighting. Now I go tell the teacher about what is going on. But by then someone could be hurt. So now my goal that I am striving to achieve is to help prevent conflicts from going on with my Muslim brothers. But if I am not there when a fight starts, I will try to stop it, then I will tell an adult or teacher.
I totally agree with you Nazeer! I always used too stand around and watch it. Now I know it is wrong!
When a muslim brother or sister is in a conflict, I would make sure I know both sides of the argument, so that I know what each side thinks. I would then talk to each person and make sure that they know how the other side is feeling. I would then try and convince both sides to talk to each other so that they an peacefully talk and come to and agreement. If they are unable to peacefully come to an agreement, then I would step aside and let an adult know the situation because it may be a bigger situation then thought to be. If I am unable to do anything at all, then the only thing left to do is to make dua for the 2 people/ sides.
I agree with you Saarah, because knowing both sides of the argument is very important in order to resolve the solution fairly. An argument that is resolved fairly should end up leaving all of the people involved feeling happy or satisfied. If we only listen to one side of the argument, one person will end up being unhappy or unsatisfied, which shows that the argument was not completely or fairly solved.
I agree Sarah but don't you think it would be better if we just let them be because in fights even an unbiased opinion can result in bigger conflict and favoritism. But yes it is true that it is good to listen to both sides before coming to a conlusion.
Yeah maybe Tareem, but remember that you can always tell a trusted adult...
My name is Saarah not Sarah…Sorry...
I THINK THIS IS A VERY GOOD IDEA, THAT I CAN LEARN FROM A LOT! I SHOULDN'T MAKE A WRONG JUDGEMENT, BECAUSE THAT WOULD MAKE THE SITUATION WORSE. THANK YOU SAARAH!
if my muslim brother or sister was in a conflict, then i would first try my best to calm them down and tell their side of the story. Then i would tell them my advice and say that whatever the problem may be fighting is not the solution.
I agree Ali calming them down is a pretty good idea and I would also probably do the same, and you are right fighting is never the answer :)
If I saw anyone in a conflict with others, I would first try to make peace of the situation and try to calm everyone down. If I am the leader of a group and people in my group are fighting, I would consider all aspects of the story and ask everyone around. I would try to calm them down by telling them some Hadiths and asking them to lay down or make wudu. I would stop all lies and rumors from spreading by asking witnesses the real truth. If needed, I would also tell a 'white' lie (not to be racist) to bring peace and to bring the two people back together.
Yes Ahmad we learned in class that it is okay to lie if you are bringing people together because then you would be helping others reconcile which is a very good deed. Also I would stay quiet too because when people are mad anything can tick them off. I also learned from the Ayah that having good relations is very important.
I agree with Ahmad, one person should try to bring the 2 opposing groups together. Also I agree that there shouldn't be any rumors or lies created. To stop that backbiting and gossiping shouldn't be done.
The main message of this ayah is that make things better between your muslim brothers and sisters. If I had to solve a conlict between people I would hear both sides of the story and then tell them what does the other persons words mean to you. I will try to explaint the issue to them and not take it everywhere.
If my Muslim brother or sisters were in a fight,i would do my best to respectfully help them out in anyway possible if necessary. some people don't like you interfering in their business so you have to be respectful of that. what i would do is listen to both sides of the story, and i would try to keep a neutral perspective on the situation.i would then try to have the two people understand their differences and become friends again.
yes, thats always the right thing. listen to both sides of the story
If I were to ever come across an argument or in this case a conflict I would do one of the following depending on the problem occurring. First I would stay away from the problem not trying to have any part in it because sometimes when the
Sorry device froze so I will continue here:
Argument is about a bad topic and a teacher or any adult finds out they might add you into the problem's consequences. Second I would help in the conflict if it is reasonable to help, for example if the conflict was about my little brother and people were having an argument about him, and they were saying many wrong things about him I would go and help with the problem because this problem has something to do with me so I have my right of going there and calming the problem down. So these are the 2 things I would do, Enjoy...........
For example, Iam just wandering around and then i find my Muslim friends or relatives fighting with each other/in conflict.They are in a dis agreement for a reason i don't know why.The first thing i would try to do is calm them down so we could talk with each other.The next thing that i would do is try to figure out there problem but not get to into it because it might be a little private.After i figure out there problem we will find a way to do a compromise.That should and usually solves problems and then everything will be fine and nobody will be fighting anymore! :)
My plan for coming across my Muslim brothers or sisters in a conflict is that I would ask them what the problem is. I would need to understand the problem from both sides before doing anything. This is important because if this is not done the solution will be biased and unfair. I would then tell them, is there a better to solve this problem? If they say yes, I will tell them to do it. If they say no, then I will tell them you two are hopeless.
In this kind of situation, I would go about it a simple way.
I should never say something wrong about someone then defend them, so I will never say something wrong about them in the first place, because that is backbiting.
Also, when solving others' problems/conflicts, I want to make sure I am not intruding into any of their private affairs. I should also make sure that me getting involved will not make the situation worse.
I would slowly understand what is going on in the situation, instead of hearing only one person's side of the story. Then I will talk to each person in private and work it out with them on their own. I would be both of their friends through a difficult time.
And I would definitely not take benefit of the situation.
i would tell my friends and there peers that screaming and shouting is not going to help the problem you both need to collaborate on solving the problem if you don't then you will never get relieved.
my plan is to do something nice for who ever i have bad blood with so the conflict between us would end.
To help solve conflict with my Muslim brothers and sisters, instead of taking in a rumor i would make sure its true and also make sure that i don't make up rumors myself, because what usually gets matters between people worse are rumors.
i would also help them resolve their issue but at the same time not make it so that i am intriguing in their personal business.
To help them feel better, its also good to comfort the person going through hardship and make sure they are confident.
Its best to just stick to the basics if you know something is up, you don't need to find out every single little detail to help if it only makes matters worse.
These are the steps that I would take for the situation:
1) Find out about the situation from both sides of the story.
2) Try to tell them its not a big deal (if it isnt)
3) If the above doesnt work, than this is one of the only cases where you can lie, and just say stuff such as: he said bla bla bla (something good) about you even if the person really diddnt.
4) if they are stilll not giving up, than you have done your job, so you an leave the alone.
There should never be too much conflict between our Muslim brothers and sisters but if there is I think the wisest decision would be to be peaceful and remind them of Allah or something of that nature. In fact, peace is so important in Islam that we greet each other with it by saying "Assalamu Alaikom". Also, I think there is no better way to end or solve a conflict by mentioning Allah because it makes both people concious of Allah and that Allah would not like for us to fight and argue, especially when it is a useless argument. However, if the argument becomes to persistent, then try to leave it alone or fake a phone call :)
Seriously though, if the conlfict continues then just try to change the subject or walk away.
If I saw a Muslim in a conflict I would probably try to see what is wrong and stop it without getting anybody hurt. Especially since the hadith of the week talk about not reciprocating harm we shouldn't encourage the conflict and watch as it begins to enlarge into a BIG conflict. Then you get the bad deeds too. Not just the fighters, but you too.
If I happened to come across my Muslim brothers or sisters in a conflict, I would probably first find out what the problem is, and if it is just a small matter like "She used my lead pencil" or a serious one like lying or stealing someone else's property/belongings. The important point in both types of scenarios is that in order to solve an argument between anyone, you must stay calm and peaceful yourself. We should not just stand there and watch the people around us fight, yet we should also not add more fuel to the fire. We should try to implement balance in all of our everyday actions. I will strive to follow this plan by remembering to be calm and peaceful whenever I see someone fighting, and by also thinking, "What would the Prophet (SAW)'s mindset be in this type of situation?"
I agree Imani I would do the same
When I come across my brother/sister in a conflict, instead of judging right away, I would listen to both sides of the story and what they each have to say. I would ask them to talk to one another about how they feel and what they think they should of done.
While asking questions and asking them about their feelings, I would try to not get too personal, because I wouldn't want to invade their privacy.
I absolutely agree with you Hibah because always try to ask how they feel and let them solve it! :)
if I ever do come across someone in that state, I would help them solve their problem and tell then that Allah is the one and only deity to ask help from.
What I would do is first try to solve the problem calmly and if it didn't work I would then try to forget about it. As long as I don't hurt my Muslim brother or sister then I will be happy. Because Allah said. That we should be merciful to one another, since he is merciful to us then why can't we be merciful to others as well.
I think i would try to solve it the best way i can. And if it is a really big conflict then i would try to do the best i can if tht can't happen then i would take it to a very wise and noble person
What i would do to solve the problem is to listen to both sides of the story. If one doesn't here both sides of the story and only one side of the story then that wouldn't be truth to the other person. We should never fight about things that are unnecessary also at the same time for example like if someone takes a pencil without asking, you wouldn't necessary have to make a big deal and start yelling at them because in Islam we should never be cruel to our Muslim brothers and sisters. Instead, you could ask them if they could return it in a nice way. As an outcome insallah they won't fight with you and everything will be okay. This is the way to deal with someone if they are fighting about something.
That is true.
if someone got in a fight I would stop it. After I stop the fight I would find out what happened and try to settle it. If I cant I would get someone to help me. But if it got to bad I would have no choice but to get an adult. Then that will solve the problem.
ps. as Muslims try not to get in a conflicts
If my Muslim brothers and sisters were in a conflict I would first ask the both people (That are fighting) what was going on or both sides of the story. Then, after I listen to the stories I try to think what is right. And go with the one that feels right.Or I can go find an adult and ask them what is right if I am not sure. Also I will ask the people that were around the conflict when it happened. :)
If I came across two of my fellow muslims and they were fighting i would try to stop the conflict and make peace between them. I would listen to both sides of the story. Then I would tell my un-bios opinion. I would also tell them ways to make the situation better instead of worse by asking each other why you started the fight or listen to each other's sides of the story,(etc.. ) instead of slandering and backbiting.
What I would do if my brothers in Islam were fighting. I would first learn why their fighting. Then i would hear both sides of the story. After that I would try to hep them resolve their argument. If this technique doesn't work then I will try resolving the topic by make each of them change the position of where they are standing to stop their anger and then making them resolve the conflict
You have a point, Mazen. That is the best way to deal with an issue.
I think that this is an excellent point. And one that has not occured to most of us while writing this. I know it hadn't occured to me, and I'm happy someone posted this because now I have more ways to choose from for when I am caught in a situation like this one.
We all see fighting sometimes. Whether its peers or even siblings. but a lot of us don't even realize we are making the situation 10 times worse. We need to learn how to deal with these fights and sooth the anger rather than spark a new fire between them. The key to this is to listen to both sides of the story and brainstorm new solutions. Once you do that, suggest some ideas or have them both sit down together to solve their own things. Because sometimes, it's better to hear the raw story from each of them without the layers of people the story was passed through. Just remember, never spread rumors or join sides to rebel against the other :)
If my Muslim bothers and/or sisters were in a conflict I would go up to them and first figure out what would be going on. It may not be good to not know what is happening then to just barge in not knowing what to do. Next, I would calm both out and figure out each side of the story, by doing this I would get different perspectives of the problem and make a solution by collaborating with those that are in the conflict. Its not always good to cut to the chase and make up as you go, you must collect evidence and piece it all together.
I agree with you because, you have to make sure both sides are calm. We have to listen to both perspectives, and understand the conflict.
If I came across my brothers or sisters in islam fighting, I would stop them first and make sure to listen to both sides and not trying to be biest just because he/she is your best friend and you don't like another because then you will get bad deeds. Instead just agree with the person who you think should apologize and work it out. So EVERYONE can be buddies!!!
The first thing any person should do in any bad situation between two Muslim brothers is to try to solve it in 4 ways: Either by making dua, solving it with his hands, his tongue, or the least of imam to do is to feel bad about in your heart. Some scholars say that after that, there is no iman. If I saw a conflict happening between two Muslims, then I would try to ask them what they're fighting about. Then, I would solve the problem depending on what the issue is. But, if a conflict happens in a Muslim country, such as in Syria, then I would go and fight, because there is no way that pig Bashar would ever make a peace treaty between the Syrians. Now, the best way to deal with an issue isn't war, but sometimes you must fight for what you think is right. Even our Prophet SAAWS fought for Allah's cause, when Quraysh decided to disobey him, like in the Battle of Badr.
Mashallah good points. I never knew that a conflict could be solved in that many ways.
One very important and simple thing to do is never to take someones side during the conflict it will only make matters worse and it will cause more and more rage.
I think everyone has found themselves in this situation multiple times, sometimes more then we can count. So much that they have found themselves in that very spot as well. However, just stating the obvious doesn't do anything for us, it points out the problem, but it doesn't answer the question. Alhamdulillah, we have a good school that has ingraved life lessons into our minds, one of the many is to hold your tongue. When we are giving adivce or talking about anything we need to make sure that we are not putting someone in a bad place or stating mean things about others. Now, yes, it is hard to always analyze what we are saying or about to say, but it's something we need to do. And if we try hard to make it a habit, it will become less hard. And it's like they say old habits die hard, so why don't we make it habit that's hard to die?
I have actually done this before where I have stopped two people from fighting. What I did was I backed both of them away from each other... but still they tried to fight so I got in the middle tried to break it up... it worked but I was the one who got hit in the face
How bad did it hurt? :)
These past couple Ayah's rotated on the hub of peace, and positive interactions between others. Islam is all about peace, so we should try to bring Salam (peace) among our brothers and sisters in Islam. I Insha Allah will aim to cut out backbiting completely, and to pay more attention to those around me to keep each other happy. If I do come across a friend in need, I will help them with
1. not involving too many people
2. not gossiping
3. not telling everyone and making it obvious
4. talking to the person directly
Insha Allah these goals will help me bring more peace into this community and inspire others as well.
I will attempt to LEAVE WHICH DOESNT CONCERN ME and try to get the two ( or more) people to stop fighting. I will not take sides unless the person is wrong and arrogant. I wont put the person down just make the person understand that they are wrong.
My plan for coming across my Muslim brothers or sisters in a conflict is to make sure i know what is wrong, and not chose a side. I would talk to them both and then help them get through it.
What i learned from this ayah of the week is if my brothers or sisters in Islam are fighting i would first hear both sides of the story, then get them to talk to each other so nothing worse can happen, and i would make sure that they both forgive each other. Also make sure none of them will hold a grudge, because it's better to forgive then to dwell over it.
What i would do if i were trying to stop a fight between my muslim brothers and sisters, is a couple of things. First i would probably ask them both of what happened. Or if it is something private, i would ask them and if its private, and if it was, i would leave. I will try to figure out everything and make them stop fighting
If I come across a conflict between my Muslim brothers and sisters, then my immediate action would be to ask the people originally involved in the fight to clear the things out themselves. If that doesn't work, then I would help them clear things out by making them discuss the problems together. I know that this can work because most of the times conflicts happen is when people don't discuss simple matters and things become BIGGER and WORSE.
If I come to a conflict with my Muslim sister then i would try to work it out before it get s bigger. I would consult with her and try to figure out the root of the problem and then try to find a way to fix it. If it was my fault then i would apologize and ask for forgiveness from her because everybody makes mistakes and if you make a mistake you have to fix it. In addition, i would talk it out with her because most problems get worse when both sides dont address the problem out of stubbornness.
To limit conflict between others we should always think about our words. Our words are what effect society most. If we let out a phrase that others don't like then that will lead to conflict. one example is the THINK concept. Before you respond you see if it's:
If there is a joke then we should make sure it's not relating to anyone you know or have seen.
I would try to break up the fight by figuring out what the problem is and find the most easiest and most efficient solution. If there is no solution, then I would make dua to Allah (SWT) to help my brothers in any way He wishes.
I agree because we should always rely on Allah (SWT) rather than ourselves.
If I came across my fellow Muslim brother or sister fighting with another, I would try to solve the problem without getting too involved with their issue if it is none of my business. One way to do it is to hear both sides of the story and try to make a fair decision of which makes more sense without choosing sides. If the reason they are fighting is because of you,you need to act fast and apologize to both of them.
My main plan for me if my Muslim brother or sister is fighting is: First tell them that they should stop fighting and ask why they are fighting. Next, I will listen to both sides of the story. I'll see if there were any witnesses. Then finally, I'll make a decision. Some notes I will think of is to make sure they allow the judging. Also, make sure I don't get too caught up into their personal conflict.
If two muslim brother or sister are fighting, we should try to solve the conflict before they end up hating each other forever. Also, i would try and talk to both people and see each persons point of view and hear their side of the story.
If a friend and I were in a conflict, I would conceal it and talk to them without anyone else knowing. This is so that I can prevent from gossip or backbiting.
MY PLAN OF ACTION WHEN COMING ACROSS 2 OR MORE PEOPLE FIGHTING IS THAT I WOULD TRY TO MAKE PEACE BETWEEN BY 1ST LISTENING TO BOTH SIDES, THEN DEVISING A SOLUTION. THIS CAN BE DONE BY WORKING TOGETHER. IF 2 PEOPLE ARE NOT TALKING TO EACH OTHER, I CAN LIE TO TELL THEM THAT SO AND SO SAID YOU ARE SO NICE. THIS IS ONE OF THE ONLY CASES WHERE LYING IS NOT A SIN.
Usually when people fight, you tempt to backbite about them without even realizing what your doing. The right thing to do is to talk to them privately and with manners. Don't yell at them, just tell them how you feel. There is no need for gossip, backbiting, or slandering!
If my brothers/sisters in Islam were ever in a conflict i would try to find common ground them, separate them, privately speak to each of them, let them calm down, and bring them together apologize and forgive eacother.
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